How to Fight (and Get Rid of) Social Anxiety Fast

Living with social anxiety is no walk in the park. It can have a severe impact on how you interact with others and on your overall quality of life.

You might constantly worry about saying the wrong thing, or how others might be judging your every word and action. You could be perpetually afraid of rejection and humiliation.

Perhaps you avoid attending parties or joining in on conversations even when you have something meaningful to say.

Your social anxiety could be forcing you to put up your defenses and it could be keeping you from living the life that you want to live.

The good news is that there might be things you can do to train yourself to fight and get rid of social anxiety quickly.

Here, we will discuss what happens when you experience social anxiety and three things you can do to fight it and start connecting with the world around you.

What happens when you experience social anxiety?

Jordan Peterson, a Canadian clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto, and the best-selling author of the book “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos“, describes a party as a “monster” for someone who experiences social anxiety.

And maybe you can relate to that idea.

You might have had an experience when you were walking into a party or a gathering, and you immediately felt out of place, awkward, and nervous.

You felt like you were being judged, and that you really didn’t belong there. Being in that party made you feel insecure.

For people with social anxiety, this can be a severely stressful situation. And when you’re under stress, your body responds by releasing certain chemicals and switching to the fight-or-flight mode.

Fight-or-flight and social anxiety

Your body responds to stressful situations by activating the fight-or-flight mode, also known as survival mode ^[1].

In this state, your adrenaline hormone spikes, causing our heart to pump blood with greater force. As a result, you could experience anxiety symptoms like dry mouth, shaking and trembling, excessive sweating, and a general feeling of dread.

The reason we switch to survival mode under stress is that our ancestors often faced real danger, such as running into a lion in the jungle. They had to develop the instincts to either fight or flee, to survive.

Although we’re no longer living in actual danger anymore, for the most part, we’re still hardwired to respond similarly when we perceive threats.

If you have social anxiety, for you, the threat could be humiliation, rejection, or loss of reputation.

The cycle of social anxiety

When you’re feeling anxious and insecure, your negative thoughts have an effect on your posture, and what you non-verbally communicate to those around you.

If you’re feeling nervous at a party, you might be having some of the following thoughts:

• “I’m awkward.”
• “I hate being here.”
• “What are people thinking of me?”
• “Am I looking foolish?”
• “Nobody wants to talk to me”

If you’re having these thoughts, you’ll unconsciously have a withdrawn and hunched over posture. And there is evidence to suggest that your posture can affect your mood negatively ^[2].

So, you end up feeling even more insecure. People around you sense that you’re not open to communication, and they avoid you. You take their lack of interest as further evidence that they’re unwilling to talk to you, and the cycle continues.

But how do you overcome this negative cycle and let yourself open up to others? Let’s take a look at three things you can do to overcome social anxiety relatively quickly.

How to get rid of social anxiety?

Before we delve into some of the steps you can take, we should mention that if you’re someone who suffers from severe social anxiety to the point where you find it difficult to even introduce yourself to strangers, then you should seek help from a clinical therapist for behavioral therapy.

They will identify the root causes of your anxiety and work with you to help you become more confident in social situations.

But if your social anxiety is not at the point where it’s debilitating, but nonetheless holding you back, you can try the following tips.

1. Focus on others

While it may sound too simple to be effective, focusing on others can work as a powerful tool against social anxiety.

In one of his lectures for his students, Jordan Peterson points out that looking at others takes the focus off of yourself.

When you stop thinking about yourself, you may also stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking of you.

You might come to realize that most of the time, people aren’t really thinking of you all that much. They’re usually thinking of themselves. And if you can be genuinely interested in them, and what they have to say, you might become the most interesting person they speak to all night.

To learn more about how to become an expert communicator, check out Dale Carnegie's famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People“.

Talk to one person at a time

One thing you can do to focus on others next time you’re at a party is to talk to one person at a time.

No matter how much of an introvert you are, you can probably communicate quite well with another individual.

When you see a party as a gathering of fifty people, you might find that overwhelming. But if you pick one person at a time, and only talk to them (even if there are others around), you might find it easier to communicate, which will end up easing your anxiety.

A lot of social anxiety stems from the lack of adequate connection with those around you. If you really look and pay attention to the person you’re speaking to and focus completely on them, you will develop that connection.

2. Attend more parties

Jordan Peterson explains that there is strong evidence to suggest that those who are aware of their limitations, but they work to overcome those challenges, benefit in various ways.

If you suffer from anxiety and find it hard to attend social events, you’re already somewhat aware of your limitations.

You can follow Tim Ferriss’ TED talk advice on fear-setting and list all of the possible negative outcomes of attending a party.

Once you’re aware of the worst possible outcomes, then you make the decision to move forward into the uncertainty and attend as many parties as possible.

The biggest benefit isn’t that you get better at being social, although that is definitely likely to happen. But the greater benefit is that it will shift your perception of the type of person that you are.

You will come to see yourself as someone who identifies challenges and then takes action to overcome challenges.

It will raise your self-esteem and give you a real reason to feel better about yourself.

Instead of the negative social cycle, now you’re initiating a positive cycle.

If you feel better about yourself, your vibe will be different and you’ll start noticing that people respond to you differently.

The positive feedback will further raise your perception of yourself.

3. Try natural relaxants

In addition to focusing on others and attending more parties, you can also give yourself an added mental boost by drinking tea, or taking a natural supplement, before your next social gathering.

By consuming ingredients that naturally put you in a more relaxed state, you might be able to reduce the stress of being at a party.

Green tea

Green tea, along with black tea and oolong tea, contains an amino acid known as L-theanine ^[3], which has been shown to promote calmness ^[4].

L-theanine is responsible for the soothing effects of green tea after a long day at the office.

Drink one or two cups of tea before attending a social event to see if it has a relaxing effect which allows you to communicate more freely.

PerformZen

You can go one step further and try PerformZen, which is a natural supplement designed to help you stay calm under pressure.

It boosts GABA levels in your brain, which is a neurotransmitter associated with relaxation and creativity ^[5].

PerformZen also contains L-theanine, among other ingredients, that work together to promote calmness and better cognitive function.

So Can you Get Rid of Anxiety Quickly?

Social anxiety can impact your life in many ways. It can prevent you from making connections and hold you back both in your personal and professional life.

The good news is that through a little bit of effort and practice, you can train yourself to overcome social anxiety.

Try the tips mentioned in this article, like looking and focusing on others at a party, and by attending more social events.

For an added cognitive boost, give green tea or PerformZen a try before the next party.

Try new Anxiety & Stage-Fright supplement: we have developed & clinically tested a new All-natural Beta Blocker supplement: our unique anxiety & stage-fright support supplement that will let you stay calm, focused & think clearly no matter how much pressure you're under!

PerformZen is an all natural beta-blocker alternative supplement, specifically designed to help you with stage fright, social anxiety and performance anxiety symptoms.

Following an extensive creation process inspired by our professional musician co-founder, PerformZen launched to fantastic initial feedback from career musicians, professional public speakers, individuals trying to solve their social anxiety worries and other high-level performers. Learn more about PerformZen Calm Performance Formula here.

Resources & Products mentioned in this article

• 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
• How to Win Friends & Influence People (Dale Carnegie Books)
• TED Talk by Tim Ferris video